the heart wants.

I went shopping today for a birthday present for my mother.

I perused through racks of beautiful flowing dresses, soft knitted hats, water colored scarves, and quirky cereal bowls. Hanging over a shelf filled with kitchen dish towels and retro aprons was a delightful fixture made of tree branches and multi colored feathers. One wall adorned with funky mirrors and a black dial up telephone set itself over piles of toasty sweaters and thick leather belts.

I ran my palm over stacks of eccentric prints of classic lit: copies of Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre were bound in bright blues and greens with yellow and pink stitching. I coveted those books. I stood in front of them for a good 5 minutes merely smiling. How silly I thought, I'm standing in a clothing store coveting books. And then a fellow shopper approached me and said:

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Apparently her heart wanted jeans; she must have been struggling with at least 10 pairs of them. I smiled and quietly laughed.

Story of my life, I thought. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Only sometimes, you can't have it.

So instead, you buy a dress. And you buy your mom a scarf. You buy a knitted hat in the hopes that Autumn will soon come. You remember the stack of books on your bookshelf, and that what you're actually looking for, well, you won't find in a store like this.

These are the things we buy to distract ourselves from the realities of what the heart actually wants.

Because sometimes, the heart wants what it just can't have.
And a few more dresses and scarves and retro aprons later, maybe you'll be able to let it go. Or, you'll just end up with a closet full of stuff.